Let’s face it, fostering friendship, love and intimacy comes through opening up and enjoying the full experience of interaction with your partner. The inflection in the voice, the true understanding of the words being said, feeling those words being said from your partners perspective and not to mention the fact that you care enough to put all of your focus in one place at one time for that person on the other end of the line that you care about. When thinking back, how many text messaging conversations do you really remember versus those verbal conversations that you have had. Relationships are built out of quality of time spent and the true question is does text messaging count as quality time? I personally think it doesn’t.

I’ve spent a lot of time bettering myself over the past few years. I spent time learning to love myself because until you truly love yourself you really can’t love others and have fantastic relationships. I also read countless articles and books on self help and relationships. So for the first time in my life I feel I am truly able and capable of loving someone. Even armed with all of this I still continually run into one problem and that is getting caught up in the dreaded text messaging cycle that most couples fall prey to. Now I’m not talking just casual conversations happening via text but also conversations that I would deem quite serious happening though this medium. Words get misinterpreted, the other person can’t feel the inflection in your voice and then communication entirely breaks down.  I would say this probably happens a bit more on the dating scene then when you are married or living with someone because at the end of the day you have to go home to that person which could lend itself to that in person chat.

So if you care about that special someone and you care about your relationship resist that urge to text. Just pick up the phone and start out that call with I’m calling because I care, I care about you and us. There is nothing that would make some ones day more, I know I always get more exciting when I see that special someone’s name come up on caller ID versus my text inbox. People say relationships are work, I only look at things as work that I really don’t care about. So if it seems like a lot of work to pick up that phone and have that courage to go through that nervousness and that courage to have those tough conversations, then I think the true question is, are you where you need to be. Maybe that is why it comes down to using text for everything. Don’t destroy your relationships before they even begin, after all doesn’t that person that could be the one to give you a life time of warm feelings and smiles deserve the best you have to offer every day?

Life if short, live everyday as if it Is your last and live every moment with true passion and you can’t go wrong.

My journey of enlightenment started 2 years ago when my mom passed away from cancer. At that time I had such an awesome person in my life from a romantic perspective, great friends, and what I would consider a well balanced life. When you lose someone that means so much to you and you don’t deal with the loss you tend to shut down, so no one can touch you in a way that is meaningful. Anything that happens to you that causes immense amounts of sadness, guilt, resentment and pain you, as a person, need to get closure. If you don’t get this closure your mind starts building subconsius walls to protect you. These walls cause you to distance yourself from life, the thing you should always be living to its fullest. Two words best describe this process ” MENTAL DEATH”. Your friends, family and that special someone in your life ultimately loses you so I think Death of yourself is most appropriate way to look at this.

Run, stay busy, ignore the obvious, don’t let the pain catch you, don’t reflect, don’t get to close to anyone are some of the best ways I can describe what goes on in your head. Again, most of this is going on and conciously you really aren’t aware of what you are doing and the pain you are causing to those that are close to you. Friends go away, you ultimately drive that special someone in your life away because they ultimately get tired of trying to connect. Sadness reigns, self esteem drops and ultimately the person everyone loved so much prior to these life altering events experiences DEATH of ones self. Now one might say why not end it just get it over with, well I would be lying if I said that never crossed my mind but I just don’t have it in me to quit at anything its not how my DNA is wired. I do feel sorry for those that aren’t wired in the same way and choose that path so hopefully this journal may help someone that is wired differently push though as opposed to giving up.

Today I sit in front of you writing this as a changed person and it is due to self realization. Two factors played into this for me and that is having someone special in my life that didn’t give up on me coupled with the final leg of the journey and that was getting extremely ill for 2 months with mono. Now I wouldn’t suggest going out and getting mono to hit this point of self realization, because it can absolutely be done without it. Mono gave me 2 months of down time to reflect on my relationships, the past, my priorities what I wanted out of life etc. Instead of mono what I would suggest is the following:

1. Get yourself a note book, sit in a quiet place and just think about you and your life for a while until you get to a point you have a lot of emotion brewing inside.

2. Start WRITTING.. what you want out of life, where you want to go, who you want to be, how you want people to view you etc..etc.. etc.. most importantly if you want that special someone in your life write down what you out of that relationship and how you visualize it.. most important and this is key be VERY descriptive of the above.. when I did this several weeks ago I came up with over 10 pages front and back that taught me a lot about myself.

3. Next.. Start writing again about how having your life like the blue print above would be, how it would make you feel, most importantly not getting it and changing in that direction what pain would it cause.

4. Next… Start writing down everything that is keeping you from making the change and potential ways to get around it. My biggest things stemmed back to some bad interactions I had in life at 10 years old, 23 years old and ultimately my mothers death which happened 2 years ago. What I needed to do to get around these mental issues I had was to deal with the problems and get closure. Closure came when I realized how these life changing events were keeping me from my internal happiness. Hence the self realization.

5. Last step, review, review, review… now that you have this done read it, learn from and keep this document someone handy that will allow you to review it anytime you find yourself slipping.

Now, my self realization did come a bit late. I lost the person that was special and believed in me. She got to a point that she realized the person she fell in love with died and lost her hope. The day she moved on was officially one of the worst days of my life. The past still hurts, but I now have a positive outlook on life through the process of self realization that mono and this person in my life prompted. The journey is one that I will forever be thankful for. The real me is back and I spend every day living life with passion. Now, I don’t claim to be a mental guru, but I have read my share of self help books. I just hope that this article finds itself into just one persons hands that they are able to change their outcome before they lose what they cherish the most in their life as I did.

“Live Life With Passion Not Regret”

Listen, I love to sometimes go camping, but I would never pitch my tent in the middle of a mine field. So the question I pose here is why would you want to enter into a relationship with someone with a lot of conditions. A relationship that you our your partner always has one finger on the self destruct button and one foot hanging out the escape hatch ready to bail? I will love you as long as you do this, this and this but not if you do this, this and this. What this is, is a relationship in the middle of a mine field set for certain destruction and not one of unconditional love with a happily ever after ending.

One example of unconditional love is the love between a parent and a child, no matter how bad either the child or parent screw up the other still loves them and it is clear that they will be there to help and work through the situation. What is the out come of this type of relationship? One that typically lasts for ever, until death do you part, image that? What a novel idea for a relationship in this day and age! Til death do we part, even though it is in every wedding vow.

Now keep in mind it does take two people to have this type of a healthy relationship as I found out over the past couple of years, two people willing to have the courage to take on challenges that they are confronted with, the courage to look your partner in the eyes and discuss any issues no matter how bad they may seem at the time, the courage to stay the course.

Listen, we are all human, we will all make mistakes, some big some small. What it takes to have a healthy relationship is the ability to have courage. Talk when it hurts, try go deeper and understand why your partner did what they did wrong no matter how much it is hurting you at the time, develop the type of relationship that no matter what happens there is nothing taboo when it comes to conversation. What just happened here? Look around, the mines in the mine field just disappeared, open communication is formed, a deep understanding of your partners needs is accomplished and you are on your way to unconditional love. Feels good doesn’t it? If you look at your most successful relationships it has two people doing exactly this, living for each other. The word selfish does not exist in relationships where there is a strong sense of unconditional love.

As an example, I recently got out of a relationship that I felt I had pitched my tent in the middle of that mine field. Except these weren’t mines they were nuclear war heads, linked together by hundreds of invisible trip wires. My partner often ended the relationship every three months that we would soon reunite again after she worked through her mood swings. She did not have the ability to discuss things (which was not with just me, this was often seen in relationships with her friends when issues would arise), often hung the phone up on me or got angry when I was trying to discuss things (because hey u discuss things when they are important to you), made it appear to the world that I was the bad one and never took any accountability on her end (often making me feel as if I were this horrible person) and hid behind other things in life to avoid communications. There was never any accountability taken on her end or the willingness to take a few moments to try and understand each others feelings. These types of people often consider themselves simple people when they are absolutely the most complex and volitile. You never have any understand of them because they have zero ability to communicate anything that is going on within themself. They can communicatate some basics of the situation but they don’t have the ability to reach down deep, take their emmotions, label them and articulate them to others. At times you may even have to check their myspace mood status to see how they are feeling as opposed to having intimate 1 on 1 conversation with them. As ridiculous as that may sound believe it or not that happens alot. If you ever had an unhealthy relationship this may sound way to familiar.

I consider myself a pretty good communicator as you may be able to tell by some of my blogs, but it really takes two people to be successful at it when it comes to relationships. If you are in a reltionship with someone that does not have these skills or is not willing to atleast try to open up and try to develop them, my advice to you would be that your happily ever after may not be with that person, because it does take two. If you want some additional reassuring facts of this look at their track record with their past relationships, especially if they have kids, do they have good relationships with their past partners or is their one of hatred? Because to have a good relationship with an ex-partner, especially if their are kids involved, it takes communication, ability to forgive and more importanty you would of had to have some sort of unconditional love involved at some point. My bet is they always had their finger on that self destruct button much like they have / had it on that button in your relationship, and much like they will have it on the button in their next relationship. What is more ironic about situations like this is that the healthy partner is usually the one chasing the unhealthy partner to talk, discuss things and trying to make it right.

Now, that is not saying these people are bad people, just at some point they were never equipted in life to have a healthy relationship. I can tell you that I wasn’t originally either. It was through a learned process and a desire to have more fullfilling relationships that I became more of a healthy person in this regards. I read books, went to relationship courses, studied the people that had healthy relationships that I wish I had and even at one point got some counsiling so that I could go after my happily ever after ending more successfully. Or I should say go after my happily ever after beginning more successfully.

On a final note, Valentines day is coming up, make sure you plan and make it a special day for you and your partner.

Live life with passion not regret, sieze the day because tomorrow may never come.

Has communications and proper etiquette when meeting people really just vanished and given way to zombie land? Chasing, grabbing, clawing with no respect for others personal space, with the desired result of the stalker to suck your brains right out of your head! Ouch! I need an excedrin just thinking about this one! Ok, maybe I am exaggerating a little bit for a dramatic effect here but it’s not to far off.

Would you like to know if you are a stalker? Here is a quick test, now answer honestly:

1. Do you sometimes find yourself calling, texting and / or emailing someone several times before they conact you back in response to your first message?

2. Do you find yourself having full blown conversations via text messaging, when the other person isn’t responding?

3. Do you ever find yourself showing up or driving by someones house without their initial consent?

4. Do you have a candle lit shrine with someones pictures, locks of hair and other personal items set up in a prominent place in your home?

5. Do you sometimes find yourself lingering in stange busches in the hopes of getting a glimpse of someone or obtaining a sense of closeness?

If you answered yes to any one of these questions, then you may be on your way to becoming a stalker. If you answer yes to more then one of these questions, guess what, you may want to sit down for this one, YOU ARE A STALKER! And I say that with all due respect, please don’t hunt me down.

Now let me be clear here, if you have dated someone for a while and know them well and you are just trying to communicate with someone that is awful at communication I wouldn’t necessarily consider this stalking. It’s just caring and going after something you believe in, just know when to call it quits. However if you don’t know someone well and you are just in the process of getting to know someone and you are exhibiting these signs, well, you may want to have a drink, chill and rethink the situation and your approach.

The world is a big place, there are a lot of great people out there. If someone isn’t showing you the attention back that you would like, then just say no to stalking and yes to pulling up your britches soldier, getting out there and meeting someone that will show you the attention you crave. As much as I like scarey movies and sometimes can appreciate zombies trying to take over the world I would never want to date one. Even a hot one that has relatively little decomposition, I would still say NO.

So, if you have a zombie (stalking) story please share it in the comment section below. Since I am a very non discrimative type of person, if you are a zombie please share your stalking stories as well, perhaps as a group we can de-zombie you. Power in unity

Remember keep your brains in tact, stay away from zombies and live life with passion and not regret. This ones for you pony boy, stay golden.

A good marriage / relationship is based on much more than good sex. But couples who let physical passion drift away lose an essential emotional connection to each other. Often the feelings of romance and attraction that first drew together a man and woman get lost over time. This is because the couple fails to recognize, appreciate and understand the natural differences between the sexes.This lack of understanding can lead to feelings of rejection… frustration… and, ultimately, to sexual and emotional distance.

It is, of course, possible to improve your sex life — and in all likelihood the quality of your marriage / relationship.

SEX AND COMMUNICATION

Both men and women are looking for the same things — connection, intimacy and love. But the ways they go about meeting these needs are different.

For most men, the primary way of connecting is through sex. Women connect primarily through verbal communication.

When a woman feels that her need for communication is not being taken seriously by her partner, she begins to lose her enthusiasm for sex. Similarly, if a man’s sexual needs are not satisfied, his ability to be expressive in other ways tends to diminish.

Fortunately, the opposite is also true. When a woman’s communication needs are met, sex becomes more satisfying to her and she can enjoy it freely. When a man’s sexual needs are regularly satisfied, he is more open to verbal sharing.

When we expect the other person to respond the same way that we would, we get into trouble.

Example: A man comes home from a business trip. Almost immediately, he becomes amorous toward his wife / partner. She says, But you just walked in the door — we haven’t even talked yet. He feels rejected because he doesn’t realize that it isn’t that she doesn’t desire him… rather, she just needs to get in the mood. She feels rejected as well — as though sex is all that really matters to him, when it’s actually his way of wanting to be close to her.

To achieve ongoing intimacy and passion, we need to accept and work with each others sexual and emotional needs — rather than criticize them.

WHAT MEN CAN DO

From a woman’s point of view, one of the most effective forms of foreplay is talking. If at bedtime a man touches his wife / partner gently on the shoulder and says, Tell me about your day — and really listens — he’ll be astonished at how sexually responsive she is likely to be when he reaches for her later. When her thoughts and feelings are valued, a woman experiences the trust that can help her be fully open to sexual intimacy.

Paying attention to romantic rituals is another powerful way for a man to rekindle passion. These rituals don’t have to be elaborate. They include all the little things that show support and caring… the things that say to a woman that her husband / partner is thinking about her and considering her needs.

Some of these rituals are practically universal and often chivalrous — bringing flowers, opening the car door for her, offering to carry heavy loads. Many men have no problem making these thoughtful gestures when they’re courting, but they stop doing them once the relationship is established.

Just because you’ve won a woman’s affection is no reason to stop doing these things. Remember, considerate actions were part of the reason your wife fell in love with you in the first place. Think of them as a way of saying, I love you…you’re special to me. Couples can also develop their own favorite rituals. Again, some of the simplest ones can be the most powerful.

WHAT WOMEN CAN DO

There is nothing inappropriate about a woman asking for more romance if she wants it… but she stands a better chance of having her desires fulfilled if she requests it in a positive way.

Men have a deep-seated need to feel competent and successful. A negative statement such as, You never buy me flowers, will make a man feel as though his wife doesn’t recognize or appreciate the things he does do for her. He’ll think, Why bother trying?

Better: Say to your husband / partner, On your way home, would you please pick up some flowers? Follow this with genuine appreciation — These are beautiful. Thank you.

You might think, It isn’t romantic if I have to ask. But if you don’t ask, how will he know what to do?

Asking gets the ball rolling. By being specific and positive about what you need and expressing appreciation for his efforts, you make it easy for him to succeed — and to feel successful. That success will motivate him to continue making romantic gestures — and eventually, he’ll think of them on his own.

CREATING VARIETY

A major way that men experience intimacy is through a woman’s experience of pleasure.

A man wants to feel successful when he is trying to fulfill a woman — that’s how he bonds with her and feels close to her, whether it’s in seeing how much pleasure she takes in sex or simply basking in her smile when he comes home.

Just as men often stop making little romantic gestures once the courtship stage has passed, women often stop showing their appreciation for the things a man does for them. This tends to make a man feel taken for granted… and he often withdraws.

Nowhere is this more true than where sex is concerned. Often, women don’t realize that when they’re too busy for sex or not in the mood, men view this as rejection. If a man feels rejected enough times, he’ll begin to lose his attraction for his partner… and he’ll stop initiating sex and other kinds of intimacy.

There are also times when a woman may be in the mood for sex but her partner is not.

There’s a startlingly simple solution. If you have developed a broad sexual menu, neither of you will ever have to say no to sex — if you don’t want to.

A good sexual relationship includes not just one style of sex, but several. What I call “healthy home-cooked sex” takes about 30 minutes and allows time for the gradual buildup of passion that many women find most satisfying.

“Gourmet sex” — which might last somewhere between one and two hours — gives both partners the opportunity to be a little more creative in terms of the romantic stage-setting and their sexual experimentation.

Then there are “quickies,” which don’t usually take up much time or energy, but can be satisfying.

Caution: A sex life that is made up mostly of quickies will eventually make any woman feel resentful.

On the other hand, women need to recognize men’s need to be appreciated sexually. When a man feels he won’t be rejected sexually, his attraction for his partner will not only be sustained but will grow over time.

A couple willing to engage in all three sexual styles can make sure that both partners feel cared for.

SAYING WHAT YOU WANT

Communicating about your sexual preferences is a delicate matter. If there are things you would like your partner to do differently in bed, by all means say so — but make sure you do it in a way that makes your partner feel successful… not criticized.

The best time to talk about sexual needs is not when you’re about to have sex, but afterward. And the best way to phrase your request is in positive terms: It felt so good when you… or It might be fun if we tried….

Most people, male and female, are much happier to cooperate if they first get the message that what they’ve been doing is great… and can keep getting better and better.

Almost one in five say blonds are sexier than other girls, with just under half saying they had more outgoing personalities.

In total, 52 per cent of men said they would rather marry a dark haired woman because blonds brunettes they are more dependable and sensible – whereas only 18 per cent think blonds would make good wives.

Hairdresser Andrew Collinge, whose brand carried out the poll, said: ‘Our research shows just how much men judge a woman by their hair color.

‘It’s always been said that blonds have more fun and men obviously enjoy going out for dates with blonds as well as upgrading them to girlfriend status.

‘But when it comes to marriage, men seem to opt for brunettes as they see them as more dependable and down to earth.

‘This is really surprising when you think we’re in 2008 and the blond vs brunette debate is still rumbling on – I’m surprised as I thought men were more modern than this.’

Pollsters quizzed 3,000 men, of whom 36% said blonds were sexier against 31% for brunettes.

Nearly 37% thought blondes were more fun, compared with just 32% preferring the company of brunettes.

But 53 per cent thought brunettes more reliable and 49% said they were the most loving.

Also in the brunettes’ favor are their abilities as home organizers and mothers, according to 51% of men questioned; and as cooks, according to 48%.

Fifty per cent of men also admitted their wife’s hair color was different to that of most of their girlfriends.

In the 1940’s, the psychologist Rene Spitz studied human babies isolated from their mothers. These were the infants of women too poor to care for their children, infants who had been placed permanently in a foundling home. There, the children were kept in what Spitz called “solitary confinement,” placed in cribs with sheets hung from the sides so that the only thing the babies could see was the ceiling. Nurses seldom looked in on them more than a few times a day. And even when feeding time came, the babies were left alone with just the companionship of a bottle. Hygiene in the homes was impeccable. But without being held, loved, and woven into the fabric of a social web, the resistance of these babies was lowered. Thirty four out of 91 died. In other foundling homes, the death rate was even higher. In some, it climbed to a devastating 90%. A host of other studies have shown the same thing. Babies can be given food, shelter, warmth and hygiene. But if they are not held and stroked, they have an abnormal tendency to die.

Two means have been discovered to produce depression in laboratory animals: uncontrollable punishment and isolation. Put an animal in a cage by himself, separated from his nestmates, and he will lose interest in food and sex, have trouble sleeping, and undergo a muddling of the brain.

Tampering with bonds to the larger social organism can have powerful consequences. In humans, feeling you’re unwanted can stunt your growth. The flow of growth hormones, according to recent research, is affected strongly by “psychosocial factors.” Monkeys taken away from their families and friends experience blockage of the arteries and heart disease. On the other hand, rabbits who are petted and hugged live 60% longer.

When their mates die, male hamsters stop eating and sleeping, and often succumb to death themselves. They are not alone. A British study indicated that in the first year after a wife dies, a widower has a 40% greater risk of death. In another study at New York’s Mount Sinai School of Medicine, men who had lost wives to breast cancer experienced a sharp drop in the activity of their immune system one to two months after the loss. A survey of 7,000 inhabitants of Alameda County, California, showed that “isolation and the lack of social and community ties” opened the door to illness and an early demise.

An even broader investigation by James J. Lynch of actuarial and statistical data on victims of cardiovascular disease indicated that an astonishing percentage of the million or so Americans killed by heart problems each year have an underlying difficulty that seems to trigger their sickness: “lack of warmth and meaningful relationships with others.” On the other hand, research in Europe suggested that kissing on a regular basis provides additional oxygen and stimulates the output of antibodies.

Closeness to others can heal. Separation can kill.

The cutting of the ties that bind can be fatal even in the wild. Jane Goodall, the researcher who has studied chimpanzees in the Gombe game preserve of Africa since 1960, saw the principle at work in a young animal named Flint. When Flint was born, his mother adored him. And he, in turn, doted on her. She hugged him, played with him, and tickled him until his tiny, wrinkled face broke out in the broad equivalent of a chimpanzee smile. The two were inseparable.

When Flint reached the age of three, however, the time came for his mother to wean him. But Flo, the mother, was old and weak. And Flint, the chimpanzee child, was young and strong. Flo turned her back and tried to keep her son away from the nipple. But Flint flew into wild tantrums, lashed about violently on the ground, and ran off screaming. Finally, a worried Flo was forced to calm her son by offering him her breast. Later, Flint developed even more aggressive techniques for ensuring his supply of mother’s milk. If Flo tried to shrug him off, Flint struck her with his fists, and punctuated the pummeling with sharp bites.

At an age when other chimps have freed themselves from parental apron strings, Flint was still acting like a baby. Though he was a strapping young lad, and his mother was increasingly feeble, Flint insisted that his mama carry him everywhere. If Flo stopped to rest and Flint was anxious to taste the fruit of the trees at their next destination, the hulking child would push, prod and whimper to get his mom moving again. Then he’d climb on her back and enjoy the ride. When shoves and whines didn’t motivate his mother to pick him up and cart him where he wanted to go, Flint would occasionally give the exhausted lady a strong kick. At night, Flint was old enough to build a sleeping nest of his own. Instead, he insisted on climbing into bed with his mommy.

Flint should have turned his attention from Flo to the other chimps his age, forging ties to the superorganism–the chimpanzee tribe–of which he was a part. But he did not. The consequence would be devastating.

Flint’s mother died. Theoretically, Flint’s instincts should have urged him to survive. But three weeks later, he went back to the spot where his mother had breathed her last and curled up in a fetal ball. Within a few days, he too was dead.

An autopsy revealed that there was nothing physically wrong with Flint: no infection, no disease, no handicap. In all probability, the youngster’s death had been caused by the simian equivalent of that voice which tells humans going through a similar loss that there’s nothing left to live for. Flint had been cut loose from his single bond to the superorganism. That separation had killed him.

Social attachment is just as vital to human beings. Research psychiatrist Dr. George Engel collected 275 newspaper accounts of sudden death. He discovered that 156 had been caused by severe damage to social ties. One hundred and thirty five deaths had been triggered by “a traumatic event in a close human relationship.” Another 21 had been brought on by “loss of sta- tus, humiliation, failure or defeat.” In one instance, the president of a college had been forced to retire by the Board of Trustees at the age of 59. As he delivered his final speech, he collapsed with a heart attack. One of his closest friends, a doctor, rushed to the stage to save him. But the strain of losing his companion was too much for the physician. He, too, fell to the floor of the platform and died of heart failure.

Our need for each other is not only built into the foundation of our biological structure, it is also the cornerstone of our psyche. Humans are so uncontrollably social that when we’re wandering around at home where no one can see us, we talk to ourselves. When we smash our thumb with a hammer we curse to no one in particular. In a universe whose heavens seem devoid of living matter, we address ourselves skyward to gods, angels and the occasional extra-terrestrial.

Our need for other people shapes even the minor details of our lives. In the early 1980s, a group of architects decided to study the use of public spaces outside modern office buildings. For over twenty years, architects had assumed that people long for moments of quiet contemplation, walled off from the bustle of the world. As a consequence, they had planned their buildings with solitary courtyards separated from the street. What the architects discovered, to their astonishment, was that people shunned their secluded spots. Instead, they parked themselves on low walls and steps near the packed sidewalks. Humans, it seemed, had an inordinate desire to gawk at others of their kind.

Even mere distortions in the bonds of social connectedness can affect health. According to a study by J. Stephen Heisel of the Charles River Hospital in Boston, the activity of natural killer cells–the body’s defenders from disease–is low for people who, on the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Test, demonstrate depression, social withdrawal, guilt, low self esteem, pessimism and maladjustment. Those who withdraw have pulled away from the embrace of their fellows. Those with guilt are certain that their sins have marked them for social rejection. The maladjusted have failed to mesh with those around them. And those with low self-esteem are convinced that others have good reason to shun them. In the study, low natural killer cell activity wasn’t linked to use of medication, alcohol, marijuana or recent medical treatment–just to measures of impaired social connection.

Meyer Friedman, the doctor who delineated the Type A and Type B personality and its relationship to heart disease, says, “If you don’t think what you do is very important, and if you feel that if you died, nobody’s going to mourn, you’re asking for illness.”

To sum it up you need to stay connected to have a greater chance of living a longer and healthier life. Research demonstrates it and if you look hard enough you can probably also see it in your own social circles. Also be sure to help others that have experienced the loss of a love one stay connected and engaged in their own social circle. As researched demonstrates the loss of a mate can lead to a great chance of depression and loss of life so helping them to keep this connection in other ways is critical.