My journey of enlightenment started 2 years ago when my mom passed away from cancer. At that time I had such an awesome person in my life from a romantic perspective, great friends, and what I would consider a well balanced life. When you lose someone that means so much to you and you don’t deal with the loss you tend to shut down, so no one can touch you in a way that is meaningful. Anything that happens to you that causes immense amounts of sadness, guilt, resentment and pain you, as a person, need to get closure. If you don’t get this closure your mind starts building subconsius walls to protect you. These walls cause you to distance yourself from life, the thing you should always be living to its fullest. Two words best describe this process ” MENTAL DEATH”. Your friends, family and that special someone in your life ultimately loses you so I think Death of yourself is most appropriate way to look at this.

Run, stay busy, ignore the obvious, don’t let the pain catch you, don’t reflect, don’t get to close to anyone are some of the best ways I can describe what goes on in your head. Again, most of this is going on and conciously you really aren’t aware of what you are doing and the pain you are causing to those that are close to you. Friends go away, you ultimately drive that special someone in your life away because they ultimately get tired of trying to connect. Sadness reigns, self esteem drops and ultimately the person everyone loved so much prior to these life altering events experiences DEATH of ones self. Now one might say why not end it just get it over with, well I would be lying if I said that never crossed my mind but I just don’t have it in me to quit at anything its not how my DNA is wired. I do feel sorry for those that aren’t wired in the same way and choose that path so hopefully this journal may help someone that is wired differently push though as opposed to giving up.

Today I sit in front of you writing this as a changed person and it is due to self realization. Two factors played into this for me and that is having someone special in my life that didn’t give up on me coupled with the final leg of the journey and that was getting extremely ill for 2 months with mono. Now I wouldn’t suggest going out and getting mono to hit this point of self realization, because it can absolutely be done without it. Mono gave me 2 months of down time to reflect on my relationships, the past, my priorities what I wanted out of life etc. Instead of mono what I would suggest is the following:

1. Get yourself a note book, sit in a quiet place and just think about you and your life for a while until you get to a point you have a lot of emotion brewing inside.

2. Start WRITTING.. what you want out of life, where you want to go, who you want to be, how you want people to view you etc..etc.. etc.. most importantly if you want that special someone in your life write down what you out of that relationship and how you visualize it.. most important and this is key be VERY descriptive of the above.. when I did this several weeks ago I came up with over 10 pages front and back that taught me a lot about myself.

3. Next.. Start writing again about how having your life like the blue print above would be, how it would make you feel, most importantly not getting it and changing in that direction what pain would it cause.

4. Next… Start writing down everything that is keeping you from making the change and potential ways to get around it. My biggest things stemmed back to some bad interactions I had in life at 10 years old, 23 years old and ultimately my mothers death which happened 2 years ago. What I needed to do to get around these mental issues I had was to deal with the problems and get closure. Closure came when I realized how these life changing events were keeping me from my internal happiness. Hence the self realization.

5. Last step, review, review, review… now that you have this done read it, learn from and keep this document someone handy that will allow you to review it anytime you find yourself slipping.

Now, my self realization did come a bit late. I lost the person that was special and believed in me. She got to a point that she realized the person she fell in love with died and lost her hope. The day she moved on was officially one of the worst days of my life. The past still hurts, but I now have a positive outlook on life through the process of self realization that mono and this person in my life prompted. The journey is one that I will forever be thankful for. The real me is back and I spend every day living life with passion. Now, I don’t claim to be a mental guru, but I have read my share of self help books. I just hope that this article finds itself into just one persons hands that they are able to change their outcome before they lose what they cherish the most in their life as I did.

“Live Life With Passion Not Regret”

Just like you, I’m reflecting daily on my desire to develop a kick-ass attitude filled with positivity. Your income, success and fulfillment survives and thrives by the kick-ass attitude. Your life vampires – ego, emotional vices, hatred, despair and negativity dread to face your kick-ass attitude.

A Black Belt in Attitude

Have you ever ridden on a roller coaster? Do you remember the jolt of happiness you felt when the ride began? You were fearless, happy and immersed in the moment. Do you remember screaming later on? Or even shouting out loud? Your reality changed in the split second. You became a chicken from a ninja in matter of minutes. With the change of your reality, your attitude changed. All of these happened in matter of minutes. What you want to become with the kick-ass attitude is to learn not to change your inner reality when going gets tough.

Who is the most smashing champion of “Kick-Ass” attitude? No other name comes close to the greatness of Bruce Lee for that matter. In his short life, Bruce Lee has been remembered as the father of the modern day martial art. I’ve also stumbled upon his mastery of thoughts on the way of life – to think like a winner with the Kick-Ass attitude.

Bruce Lee’s black belt, kick-ass attitude acts as a shield to your inner reality of positivity and optimism. It’s a warrior that insures your thoughts from getting attacked by the evil of negativity. It’s a certification of mental steadfastness to wither the worst of outer reality to remain calm and confident with the mastery of focus – on what we can control and let go what we cannot.

1. Focus on what matters the most. ~

“I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.” – Bruce Lee

What we become in life begins with the reality we create in our mind. Everything we do in our life is a reflection of what we feed our mind with. A healthy body is a reflection of a healthy diet. A healthy mind is a reflection of healthy thoughts. We waste priceless life energy by focusing our thoughts on things we cannot change – the economy, the gas price to name a few. We can certainly transform our lives by investing our priceless life energy into what we can change – by setting realistic goals that can be measured and by working hard until those goals become a reality. Work on one goal at a time and immersed yourself with best of your ability and most noble intentions. You’ll be amazed at uplifting and positive attitude of your own as a result.

2. Come out of “Me, Me, Me” shell ~

“Real living is living for others.” – Bruce Lee

It’s easy to get lost in the incessant desire to lock all of our thoughts into a “me” shell. Our desire for the more throws us into a never ending roller coaster ride of emotions of highs and lows in matter of a short time span. Sadly enough, our attitude is always a loyal servant to our egotistical desires. When we do something for others, we give freedom to our thoughts. Our thoughts grow with the food of positivity that we feed by making difference in some-one’s life. Life is an echo. What we do comes back to us. The more we give to others, the more we receive from the universe. Our attitude fires up with the higher self-worth and feeling of contentment that comes from within. The subtle yet the profound change begins to take place in our mind. We feel happy with enough and learn to let go our yearning for the more.

3. Control your mental chatter ~

“Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless – like water. Now you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup, you put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, you put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.” – Bruce Lee

We have a formidable foe who never leaves us. He’s there when we are awake and never sleeps when we are at sleep. He talks to us constantly. He tells us how we shall program our mind. In fact, he is the chief programmer of our mind, a Chief Technical Officer of our life. He’s the invisible devil who chatters with our mind. When we drive and if a car comes close, he’s chatting madness. When we speak with a friend and if our friend disagrees with us, this devil chatters with our mind, “Hell with this guy, he is stupid.” He creates a fake reality in our mind about what we see and experience everyday. He’s in full control. You can squash this devil if you learn to free up your mind. Listen to others when they speak intently, bury emotions that sprung out of the mental chatter with a smile. You’ll soon become the master of your invisible foe. Your upbeat attitude will squash any mental chatter that tend to bore negative attitude.

4. Strive to live the life of values and transparency ~

“If you make an ass out of yourself, there will always be someone to ride you” – Bruce Lee

Our attitude is a selfless, loyal servant of our own desires. Our attitude grows with our own desire to live the values that we strive for in our life. Often those who succumb to the “me-centered” thoughts sell their values and transparency for the sake of achieving a life of possessions. What they forget in their pursuit of collecting those possessions is that they become possessed by the same possessions they brag most about. It’s easy to fool others but equally harder to fool our own inner consciousness. The road taken to shortcut the pathway to success ends up with the obstacles of major bumps from the diminished self value. A life of integrity and transparency leads to the longer yet pleasant journey to the peaks of success with picturesque view of your beautiful inner self. The choice is yours to make.

5. Set achievable goals ~

“As you think, so shall you become.” – Bruce Lee

A lousy attitude is an outer expression of our metal clutter. When we don’t have a clarity in life, when we don’t take time to develop a worthy purpose driven by achievable goals that we can monitor and measure, we tend to play the blame game – We tend to blame the world for our state of being, we blame our partner for every hiccup in our relationship, we blame our boss for not making more money.. You get the idea. We tend to focus our thoughts on the blemish desire to hold others accountable for our apathetic, loser attitude. The good news is that we can change all of that in matter of minutes. All we need to do is to understand the axiom of life - We are where we are is the culmination of our thoughts and actions thus far. That can be changed as easily as a sailor changes the navigation of his boat. Take control of your destiny. If you don’t, someone else will definitely be in charge for the better or worst of your fate yet to come.

6. Stay away from the influence of negativity ~

“If you love life, don’t waste time, for time is what life is made up of.” – Bruce Lee

Time is the most precious treasure we have. We can make more of other things in life but we cannot make more time. With our short journey on this earth, we shall always be mindful about spending our time with and for the positivity in our life. Our life constantly evolves. We grow up with friends and relatives who sometimes are negative. As much as we love them for their relationship with us, We shall never allow their toxic emotions to influence our thoughts. I keep a journal of my life with the events of the day that I can reflect upon to understand the subtle influence of negativity in my life. Without the awareness, negativity creeps into our mind with deftness of a robber to rob our passion and purpose. Be conscious about every conversation that you engage in with your friend or a family member and cut short those conversations of negativity swiftly to spend your time on the worthy causes of life – clarity and inner happiness.

Final Thought

Attitude is a choice. We cannot control what happens to us, but we can certainly control how we react to it. Bruce Lee believed in the life of offense with a “Kick-Ass” attitude of positivity. If we constantly work on -

~ Our consciousness to be aware of the thoughts we focus on

~ Strive to do something for others

~ Control our own metal chatter of negativity

~ Live the life of utmost values and transparency

~ Set achievable goals and work hard on them

~ Learn to stay away from our emotional vices

We will earn a diploma from the Bruce Lee’s Institute of “Kick-Ass” attitude.