Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and site softly on your shoulder…

This quote by Thoreau really hits home. People spend so much time chasing happiness rather then just letting it happen. Do the things you love! The things that make you excited to jump out of bed  in the morning and get your day started! If you do these things happiness will truly follow and you won’t have to chase after it anymore. Life is way to short to settle for anything less.

I really, truly believe that if we as a society are running on the guiding principal that a one week vacation is truly going to meet our needs for freedom, joy, play and relaxation then we are all  screwed and doomed to a dark lonely future. After all shouldn’t life’s foundation be built on these needs and not taken like some occasional vitamin supplements that we know are important but we forget to take more often then not. So the real question is, deep down do we all want a band aid or the miracle cure that comes from deep in the rainforest that will make all our mental ailments go away for ever and give you the feelings of freedom, joy, play and relaxation each and every day. Well I have some good news for you, and the good news is that it isn’t an elixir from deep in the rain forest, that cure was already burned in a segment of the rain forest that was already trashed. It’s not even contained in some package that you can get for three easy payments of $19.95 from some late night infomercial, even though that would be some sweet deal for something of this magnitude. After all we are talking about life changing daily happiness, a life change that would make vacations not even necessary unless you really just wanted to take in new sites or meet up with friends and family members.  We are not talking small potatoes here folks.

There was an old saying that said “A loser seldom lives in the present, but instead destroys the present by focusing on past memories or future expectations”. As you look inside yourself and then look around at the people around you and how they live day to day I would say we have a tremendously large number of losers as compared to winners in this game called life. Have you really taken the time to appreciate all of the things around you in the present without letting your mind wander off to the past or future? It’s sometimes very hard to do because all of the conditioning we had growing up as we were made to feel bad about that bad grade in school or to focus on those future A’s if you want to go to college and get a scholarship. Where was the focus on the beauty and excitement of the present. The things we were taking in, how it was making us feel, how we were progressively becoming a bigger and better person as result of opening all of our senses up to what was happening in the present. Have you ever read a book to your child, if you have one,  and found your mind wondering to the incident that happened earlier at work or the fact that you have a bill coming up that you don’t know how you are going to pay.  Was it focused on how you were connecting with your child, how it was making them feel, how it was becoming a memory in their mind that they would one day cherish more then anything when you are long gone? Are you focused on the beauty of your partner at dinner and the words they are saying, feeling them, connecting with them or is you mind drifting to more tormenting things in the past or future? It’s not controlling our mind and vacationing in the present that allows those Zombies to creep in our windows and suck our brains, hearts and spirits. DAM you Zombies. Do you control your thoughts or do they control you,  making you long for that week vacation that when you get there to relax your mind just continues to wander any way. Even though it may be wandering in a nicer more exotic place with some alcohol applied, needless to says its still cycling to those things that drain you the most.

It’s time for a change, its time for all of us to lead the charge as Zombie Busters. Crush those dam zombies by taking time to stay focused on the present. It’s not an easy task, are you ready? It only comes as a result of conscious effort initially. Spend more conscious time finding the beauty and the good in the present. Connecting your heart and mind 100% with what is going on in the NOW. Not only will you gain a better sense of peace within yourself but you will find that others will more easily start connecting with you and want to come along on your journey as well. It’s time to say no to the Zombies and yes to taking control of your happiness.

Live Life With Passion Not Regret.

We sacrifice our time and our sanity doing what we don’t want to do, so at some future point we will create the freedom to do what we love.

We seek happiness in things. We seek happiness in the acceptance of others, in material possessions, in social status. We even search for happiness in some future-promised afterlife. We sabotage ourselves and our entire lives because we fail to understand a very simple but easily overlooked fact.

The Search for Happiness is the Single Greatest Cause

of Misery

You can’t find something that’s already there. Happiness exists now. It’s not something you have to find. That’s like trying to find your breath.

It’s the grasping of the mind that causes unhappiness. If you’re not happy, it’s because your mind doesn’t allow you be happy. And the reason your mind doesn’t let you be happy, is because you’re stuck in the vicious cycle of productivity, judgment and purpose. That’s not to say productivity is bad, or that doing things that have a purpose is wrong. It’s basing the reason for your existence on them that causes so much anguish.

When we place our happiness solely in “getting” something, completing a certain number of tasks on our to-do list, or achieving a goal, we’re fooling ourselves. We’re like a rabbit with a carrot stick attached to our heads. We keep chasing the carrot, but we never get there. We never stop to think that it might be the chasing that’s causing the problem. We’re too distracted trying to find a better way to beat the game. As soon as we reach one level of success, we’re hurrying to upgrade our search and move on to the next level of the chase. We never stop to think that it’s not the failure to win the game that causes our grief, but the game itself.

We neglect to realize that sometimes the best way to solve a problem is to stop participating in the problem. Sometimes the best way to to solve a problem is to just stop caring (see: not giving a damn).

Sometimes…

• The best way to solve the problem of not having a lot of cool friends is to stop caring about having cool friends.
• The smartest way to be happy with the place you live is to stop caring about living in a two story house with a pool, a fireplace, central air and satellite TV.
• The simplest way to be content with yourself is not to achieve greatness and praise, but to accept yourself fully for who you are now.
• The quickest route to happiness is to stop caring about finding happiness and to start being happiness.

By not caring, we immediately release ourselves of the grasping of the mind. But it’s not easy to stay in this mindset (the mind loves to grasp); it’s something we have to constantly cultivate.

It’s especially difficult when our society tends to place more value on things, than on experiences. We value what we do more than how we feel.

This is completely ridiculous when you think about it. Because the way you feel should be more important than anything else. Isn’t the purpose of everything you do to feel good? Isn’t the purpose of that new car, that promotion, or college degree to give you a feeling of accomplishment? Isn’t that supposed to make you happy?

The problem with this is we’re basing our happiness on temporary things. We’re deriving our joy from an achievement, or an attainment. This isn’t true happiness; it’s an addiction. We get a short burst of endorphins to our bloodstream from our new TV/television, or new iPod, and then what happens?

It disappears. It leaves us feeling empty and we begin looking for our next fix.

Our advertising and consumer culture doesn’t help this much. We are constantly bombarded with messages that we need this, or we need that. Incessantly, we hear: “Buy this and it will solve your problem!” If only we could solve that problem we may finally be happy. Wrong. It’s not the problems that are the problem. I mean, buying a more efficient vacuum or sowing on that button you’ve been meaning to for seven years is great. You may feel a sense of achievement for a few moments or days. But you’re still looking for happiness in a thing.

It’s the same with productivity. If only we could finish all of the things on our to-do list, could we be content. If only we could accomplish all of our goals, could we finally be gratified. This thinking is based on the illusion that you’ll reach a certain point where everything is done. You finally made it! There’s nothing left in your inbox, all your projects are complete and your lifelong goals are achieved! Now you can rest easy.

But this point never seems to come, does it? That’s because there will always be things to do. There will always be challenges, because everything in life is constantly changing. If you reached a point in your life where you had no more problems, no more struggles, no more worries, life would stop. The game would end and there would be no point left in playing.

So… what can we do about this?

We Need to Stop Caring

That doesn’t mean we stop trying to achieve our goals or striving for personal growth. It just means that we no longer base our happiness on fleeting, semi-permanent things.

There are obviously some situations where not caring may have serious negative consequences (see paying your rent). Excessive caring, however, is likely to make you miserable.

The reason caring too much can be detrimental to your health, is you’re so focused on the future. Your identity is too attached to outcomes. If something does, or doesn’t go your way, it will likely have an enduring effect on your mood for the rest of the day.

Instead, we should base our happiness on permanent things. Things that don’t change. Desires that don’t shift from moment to moment. We choose to find our happiness in living. In life itself. In fact, we don’t even need to “find” happiness. We can be happiness.

So stop searching. You can’t find something that’s already there.