Looking for something to do this weekend? New to town and looking to find activities that will help you meet new people? Look no further, the following sites will get you way ahead of the game no matter what you are looking for.

• Meetup.  Meetup is an incredible site for finding like minded people who share your interests – the site is very intuitive and has a host of well organized events in your area. You can get information on a particular even as well as see who is attending.  I’m involved in a few Meetup groups, although I don’t attend them all I love to be able to see what’s being planned attending the event if it sounds interesting to me. Many cities have dedicated “New In Town” Meetup groups, and when I’ve attended I’ve found them to be extremely inviting and welcoming. Offers a great place to meet people when you are new to an area.
• Craigslist.  This is a great website that will help you find just about anything, including things to do.  Whether you are searching for classes, events or just friends to hang out with they have it. If you are looking for activity partners just go to the section  “strictly platonic” and post an ad or read other peoples ads. If you are looking for a date they even have categories that cover that as well. Whatever you’re looking for, Craigslist has it and then some.   
• Twtvite.   A newer service on the scene is Twtvite. Twtvite uses Twitter to publicize events and RSVPs.  You don’t even need a Twitter account to use it, you can just show up – but you’ll want to get on Twitter so you can keep in touch with all the cool people you meet.  Just go to the site to see what’s being organized in your town and to see whose attending.  Instant things to do, instant Twitter followers and instant new real life friends, it’s all good. 
• Myspace Shows. If you like being adventurous and checking out new music then Myspace Shows is the place to visit. When new to the area it will help you find great local music as well as meet new people. What is cool about utilizing this site is that the people that I have met have the same taste in music. It causes me to be a bit adventurous and check out bars and clubs that I may not normally have happened upon. I also always browse Ticketmaster since they have a lot of concerts listed as well, but generally not as many as Myspace Shows. If you are looking to meet new people in your area it is usually a bit easier meeting them at smaller local shows like the ones Myspace Shows offers as compared to the larger events that Ticketmaster offers. 
• Metromix.  This is an awesome source for club parties and local bar events. They offer a ton of information on local night life as well as pictures and information on the venues.  If you are looking for a great place to spend and evening out for some music and dancing this is definitely the place to visit. This site is predominately just focused on night life, so if you are looking for day time activities you will have the best bet checking out the other links in this article. 
• Facebook Events. This is a great resource but requires a bit more work which is why I listed this one last.  Whenever a friend invites me to an event on Facebook, I take a look at who the organizer for the event is and check out their Facebook profile.  Over time I’ve found many local people – local DJs, bartenders, etc. – who constantly post new events to Facebook to get the word out.  The result is that now on any given night, there are usually one or two events I can see going on on Facebook.  Since I can see who is organizing events as well, I can often get on guest lists for free or reduced cover charge.

Your way of dealing with relationships actually starts at childhood from the family life you were brought up in. So I did some research to see how many people in the United States came from basically functional families which typically equates to healthy future relationships. But before I go on let me define what functional families consist of. Functional families instill the following at a subconscious level:

-          The ability to operate emotionally, which means you learn to recognize what you feel, put clear labels on your feelings and then are able to tell other people what you feel. Conversely you have the capability of listening to how other people feel, to listen to their feelings and respond.

-          Prepares you as a child to cope intellectually with the world. Meaning, it teaches you to think clearly and accurately without major denial.  How to perceive reality for more or less what it is.

-          Teaches you how to relate in a PRODUCTIVE manner with other people in a relationship, involving discussions that have progression and closure.

So the real question is how many people actually come from healthy and functional backgrounds? My best guess based on statistics is about 20 to 30%. Dysfunctional families can be target by a number of family history factors including divorce, alcoholism, drug addiction and a number of other factors.

Now the strange thing is, if you come from a dysfunctional family and you come into contact with someone from a functional family it is a really strange experience.  It’s almost like you have made contact with an alien from outer space. This is the reason dysfunctional people tend to continually get caught up with other dysfunctional people in relationships and vice versa. People from dysfunctional families can’t relate to people from functional families and they can’t believe that functional people actually grew up in homes that the members were able to identify and talk about feelings, think clearly about reality, express opinions and actually learn to cope with other people. In growing up in a dysfunctional family we lose touch around the reality of what truly is a healthy relationship. People from functional families have learned unconsciously how to relate in a relationship in a productive, healthy and intimate manner with others.  If you come from a dysfunctional family you have leaned unconsciously to relate to others in a destructive style of intimacy.

So if 80% of people come from dysfunctional families, what is normal? It is normal in the United States today to be in dysfunctional relationships. So the real thing we should be seeking is not to be in a normal relationship, but one that is healthy.  A relationship that you and your partner have the ability to truly care about each other, communicate and put the other persons feelings into perspective without denial and dragging in past bad experiences into the current issue at hand.  So you don’t want normal, what you want is Healthy and to beat the norm.

I personally came from a very dysfunctional background that I learned a lot from, I learned a lot about what I don’t want. If you do come from a dysfunctional background you can absolutely become functional, but it takes some work and persistence but it is possible. It becomes even more possible if you surround yourself with other healthy functional people that will help pull you up to where you want to be. It’s about choices that you make around what you want out of life. The definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over again with the expectation of different outcomes. If you truly want that drama free life, in partnerships with high mutual respect then you need to change some of the things you are doing today.

While I am not perfect at being totally functional yet I have come a long way, and its getting better every day because it is a focus to me. One day I hope to be in a place with someone that I no longer need to think on things on a conscious level and revisit those interactions after applying so much thought. I strive to have it on an unconscious level that I do the right things in the first reaction. What I do take pride in at this point is I do have the ability to love, and put someone’s feelings before my own.  I also have the ability to come back and be humble and admit where I am wrong and when I have messed up. I wasn’t able to do that previously it use to be all about me. The best part of a relationship is not the receiving back, but it’s the giving and making your partner feel special everyday without fail with no expectation back because you are doing it because you want to on the purest level. The amazing thing that happens though, in an incredible functional relationship,  Is your partner does start giving back at that same level and it puts you in a place that only 20% of the population has the ability to get to.

Live life with Passion and always live it on the terms that make you happiest. Enjoy!

Let’s face it, fostering friendship, love and intimacy comes through opening up and enjoying the full experience of interaction with your partner. The inflection in the voice, the true understanding of the words being said, feeling those words being said from your partners perspective and not to mention the fact that you care enough to put all of your focus in one place at one time for that person on the other end of the line that you care about. When thinking back, how many text messaging conversations do you really remember versus those verbal conversations that you have had. Relationships are built out of quality of time spent and the true question is does text messaging count as quality time? I personally think it doesn’t.

I’ve spent a lot of time bettering myself over the past few years. I spent time learning to love myself because until you truly love yourself you really can’t love others and have fantastic relationships. I also read countless articles and books on self help and relationships. So for the first time in my life I feel I am truly able and capable of loving someone. Even armed with all of this I still continually run into one problem and that is getting caught up in the dreaded text messaging cycle that most couples fall prey to. Now I’m not talking just casual conversations happening via text but also conversations that I would deem quite serious happening though this medium. Words get misinterpreted, the other person can’t feel the inflection in your voice and then communication entirely breaks down.  I would say this probably happens a bit more on the dating scene then when you are married or living with someone because at the end of the day you have to go home to that person which could lend itself to that in person chat.

So if you care about that special someone and you care about your relationship resist that urge to text. Just pick up the phone and start out that call with I’m calling because I care, I care about you and us. There is nothing that would make some ones day more, I know I always get more exciting when I see that special someone’s name come up on caller ID versus my text inbox. People say relationships are work, I only look at things as work that I really don’t care about. So if it seems like a lot of work to pick up that phone and have that courage to go through that nervousness and that courage to have those tough conversations, then I think the true question is, are you where you need to be. Maybe that is why it comes down to using text for everything. Don’t destroy your relationships before they even begin, after all doesn’t that person that could be the one to give you a life time of warm feelings and smiles deserve the best you have to offer every day?

Life if short, live everyday as if it Is your last and live every moment with true passion and you can’t go wrong.

There are a number of things that can help you prepare and get through these types of issues. The main thing is communication early and often. By nature we all have the following six human needs that need to be met for us to be truely happy they are as follows:

1. Certainty/Comfort. We all want comfort. And much of this comfort comes from certainty. Of course there is no ABSOLUTE certainty, but we want certainty the car will start, the water will flow from the tap when we turn it on and the currency we use will hold its value. – Do you know what your partner is looking for to feel certain, are you articulating to your partner what you need to be certain?

2. Variety. At the same time we want certainty, we also crave variety. Paradoxically, there needs to be enough UNcertainty to provide spice and adventure in our lives. – Is there enough variety to keep your partner happy, if not, what have you done to change that? Have you articulated to your partner what you need to be happy in this area.

3. Significance. Deep down, we all want to be important. We want our life to have meaning and significance. I can imagine no worse a death than to think my life didn’t matter. – Do you make your partner feel significant? Are there things that you think your partner feels are more important you? Have you articulated to your partner what is making you feel un-significant? Sometimes things such as computers, newspapers, TV and other things can make your partner feel very un-significant. These are sometimes habits that can be changed with love, support and most importantly heart felt communication on the matter. Also something could be missing in the area of one of these other 6 areas of human needs that keep your partner focused on the distraction rather then yourself. Through communication you can understand and grow together in the right way.

4. Connection/Love. It would be hard to argue against the need for love. We want to feel part of a community. We want to be cared for and cared about. – One of the biggest issues that causes people to grow apart is this area. Every relationship needs dedicated time regularly to focus on each other, talk, be playful and most importantly connect. With work and kids many people lose this time. Couples sometimes feel the children need to come first, but through focus on you as a couple first you will have the love and happiness that will flow over into your relationship with your children. You will find with dedicated time for yourself and your relationship, many other things will fall into place easily.

5. Growth. There could be some people who say they don’t want to grow, but I think they’re simply fearful of doing so—or perhaps NOT doing so. To become better, to improve our skills, to stretch and excel may be more evident in some than others, but it’s there. – Are you growing as a person? Are you learning new things? Are you growing with your partner? If you’re not growing, your dying. More importantly try doing things and activities with your partner that will allow you to grow together. One example is perhaps getting involved in fitness together and not only growing together daily but increasing your health together to enjoy a long, happy and healthy life together.

6. Contribution. The desire to contribute something of value—to help others, to make the world a better place than we found it is in all of us. – Do you feel as if you are contributing? This is another area that can strengthen your relationship as well. By focusing on community activities or charities together can also help increase your level of happiness and the well being of your relationship.

These six human needs are a must in the psychology realm to be happy. Keep in mind if they are not being met we often we can also meet them in destructive ways that only provide short term bursts of happiness. If you are finding that you are unhappy one or more of these needs are not getting met. If you are not doing these for yourself and your partner is not meeting them either it can lead to unhappiness and the feeling of being lost and confused. Many times these can be overcome by talking with your partner about what has not been feeling good to you. But these conversations need to be based on trust and heart felt connection. Your partner and you need to trust that when you let your partner in it is because they want to make a difference and they care about you. Many people do not let this level of connection happen because of the fear that they can be hurt when someone is so deeply connected to them. Love without this type of connection though is superficial and on borrowed time.

We all want someone to come into our life’s that loves us so much that no matter what obstacles life throws at us they are going to be there and stand the course. No matter what we say or do your partner will still be standing there saying ” I am going to still love you forever”. After all our parents had that for us and and it keeps that relationship in tact for ever, the same principle applies to relationships. When there is unconditional love coming from both partners meeting the above 6 human needs, you will have a love that stands the course of time. If you have thoughts of ending a long term relationship, ensure you think trough the above needs and ask yourself have you truely had the level of communication necessary for successful relationship?

Live Life With Passion Not Regret..

Listen, I love to sometimes go camping, but I would never pitch my tent in the middle of a mine field. So the question I pose here is why would you want to enter into a relationship with someone with a lot of conditions. A relationship that you our your partner always has one finger on the self destruct button and one foot hanging out the escape hatch ready to bail? I will love you as long as you do this, this and this but not if you do this, this and this. What this is, is a relationship in the middle of a mine field set for certain destruction and not one of unconditional love with a happily ever after ending.

One example of unconditional love is the love between a parent and a child, no matter how bad either the child or parent screw up the other still loves them and it is clear that they will be there to help and work through the situation. What is the out come of this type of relationship? One that typically lasts for ever, until death do you part, image that? What a novel idea for a relationship in this day and age! Til death do we part, even though it is in every wedding vow.

Now keep in mind it does take two people to have this type of a healthy relationship as I found out over the past couple of years, two people willing to have the courage to take on challenges that they are confronted with, the courage to look your partner in the eyes and discuss any issues no matter how bad they may seem at the time, the courage to stay the course.

Listen, we are all human, we will all make mistakes, some big some small. What it takes to have a healthy relationship is the ability to have courage. Talk when it hurts, try go deeper and understand why your partner did what they did wrong no matter how much it is hurting you at the time, develop the type of relationship that no matter what happens there is nothing taboo when it comes to conversation. What just happened here? Look around, the mines in the mine field just disappeared, open communication is formed, a deep understanding of your partners needs is accomplished and you are on your way to unconditional love. Feels good doesn’t it? If you look at your most successful relationships it has two people doing exactly this, living for each other. The word selfish does not exist in relationships where there is a strong sense of unconditional love.

As an example, I recently got out of a relationship that I felt I had pitched my tent in the middle of that mine field. Except these weren’t mines they were nuclear war heads, linked together by hundreds of invisible trip wires. My partner often ended the relationship every three months that we would soon reunite again after she worked through her mood swings. She did not have the ability to discuss things (which was not with just me, this was often seen in relationships with her friends when issues would arise), often hung the phone up on me or got angry when I was trying to discuss things (because hey u discuss things when they are important to you), made it appear to the world that I was the bad one and never took any accountability on her end (often making me feel as if I were this horrible person) and hid behind other things in life to avoid communications. There was never any accountability taken on her end or the willingness to take a few moments to try and understand each others feelings. These types of people often consider themselves simple people when they are absolutely the most complex and volitile. You never have any understand of them because they have zero ability to communicate anything that is going on within themself. They can communicatate some basics of the situation but they don’t have the ability to reach down deep, take their emmotions, label them and articulate them to others. At times you may even have to check their myspace mood status to see how they are feeling as opposed to having intimate 1 on 1 conversation with them. As ridiculous as that may sound believe it or not that happens alot. If you ever had an unhealthy relationship this may sound way to familiar.

I consider myself a pretty good communicator as you may be able to tell by some of my blogs, but it really takes two people to be successful at it when it comes to relationships. If you are in a reltionship with someone that does not have these skills or is not willing to atleast try to open up and try to develop them, my advice to you would be that your happily ever after may not be with that person, because it does take two. If you want some additional reassuring facts of this look at their track record with their past relationships, especially if they have kids, do they have good relationships with their past partners or is their one of hatred? Because to have a good relationship with an ex-partner, especially if their are kids involved, it takes communication, ability to forgive and more importanty you would of had to have some sort of unconditional love involved at some point. My bet is they always had their finger on that self destruct button much like they have / had it on that button in your relationship, and much like they will have it on the button in their next relationship. What is more ironic about situations like this is that the healthy partner is usually the one chasing the unhealthy partner to talk, discuss things and trying to make it right.

Now, that is not saying these people are bad people, just at some point they were never equipted in life to have a healthy relationship. I can tell you that I wasn’t originally either. It was through a learned process and a desire to have more fullfilling relationships that I became more of a healthy person in this regards. I read books, went to relationship courses, studied the people that had healthy relationships that I wish I had and even at one point got some counsiling so that I could go after my happily ever after ending more successfully. Or I should say go after my happily ever after beginning more successfully.

On a final note, Valentines day is coming up, make sure you plan and make it a special day for you and your partner.

Live life with passion not regret, sieze the day because tomorrow may never come.

Has communications and proper etiquette when meeting people really just vanished and given way to zombie land? Chasing, grabbing, clawing with no respect for others personal space, with the desired result of the stalker to suck your brains right out of your head! Ouch! I need an excedrin just thinking about this one! Ok, maybe I am exaggerating a little bit for a dramatic effect here but it’s not to far off.

Would you like to know if you are a stalker? Here is a quick test, now answer honestly:

1. Do you sometimes find yourself calling, texting and / or emailing someone several times before they conact you back in response to your first message?

2. Do you find yourself having full blown conversations via text messaging, when the other person isn’t responding?

3. Do you ever find yourself showing up or driving by someones house without their initial consent?

4. Do you have a candle lit shrine with someones pictures, locks of hair and other personal items set up in a prominent place in your home?

5. Do you sometimes find yourself lingering in stange busches in the hopes of getting a glimpse of someone or obtaining a sense of closeness?

If you answered yes to any one of these questions, then you may be on your way to becoming a stalker. If you answer yes to more then one of these questions, guess what, you may want to sit down for this one, YOU ARE A STALKER! And I say that with all due respect, please don’t hunt me down.

Now let me be clear here, if you have dated someone for a while and know them well and you are just trying to communicate with someone that is awful at communication I wouldn’t necessarily consider this stalking. It’s just caring and going after something you believe in, just know when to call it quits. However if you don’t know someone well and you are just in the process of getting to know someone and you are exhibiting these signs, well, you may want to have a drink, chill and rethink the situation and your approach.

The world is a big place, there are a lot of great people out there. If someone isn’t showing you the attention back that you would like, then just say no to stalking and yes to pulling up your britches soldier, getting out there and meeting someone that will show you the attention you crave. As much as I like scarey movies and sometimes can appreciate zombies trying to take over the world I would never want to date one. Even a hot one that has relatively little decomposition, I would still say NO.

So, if you have a zombie (stalking) story please share it in the comment section below. Since I am a very non discrimative type of person, if you are a zombie please share your stalking stories as well, perhaps as a group we can de-zombie you. Power in unity

Remember keep your brains in tact, stay away from zombies and live life with passion and not regret. This ones for you pony boy, stay golden.

1. Go to bed at the same time.
Remember the beginning of your relationship, when you couldn’t wait to go to bed with each other?
Happy couples resist the temptation to go to bed at different times.
They go to bed at the same time, even if one partner wakes up later to do things while their partner sleeps.

2. Cultivate common interests.
After the passion settles down, it’s common to realize that you have few interests in common. But don’t minimize the importance of activities you can do together that you both enjoy. If common interests are not present, happy couples develop them. At the same time, be sure to cultivate interests of your own; this will make you more interesting to your mate and prevent you from appearing too dependent.

3. Walk hand in hand or side by side.
Rather than one partner lagging or dragging behind the other, happy couples walk comfortably hand in hand or side by side. They know it’s more important to be with their partner than to see the sights along the way.

4. Make trust and forgiveness your default mode.
If and when they have a disagreement or argument, and if they can’t resolve it, happy couples default to trusting and forgiving rather than distrusting and begrudging.

5. Focus more on what your partner does right than what he or she does wrong.
If you look for things your partner does wrong, you can always find something. If you look for what he or she does right, you can always find something, too. It all depends on what you want to look for. Happy couples accentuate the positive.

6. Hug each other as soon as you see each other after work.
Our skin has a memory of “good touch” (loved), “bad touch” (abused) and “no touch” (neglected). Couples who say hello with a hug keep their skin bathed in the “good touch,” which can inoculate your spirit against anonymity in the world.

7. Say “I love you” and “Have a good day” every morning.
This is a great way to buy some patience and tolerance as each partner sets out each day to battle traffic jams, long lines and other annoyances.

8. Say “Good night” every night, regardless of how you feel.
This tells your partner that, regardless of how upset you are with him or her, you still want to be in the relationship. It says that what you and your partner have is bigger than any single upsetting incident.

9. Do a “weather” check during the day.
Call your partner at home or at work to see how his or her day is going. This is a great way to adjust expectations so that you’re more in sync when you connect after work. For instance, if your partner is having an awful day, it might be unreasonable to expect him or her to be enthusiastic about something good that happened to you.

10. Be proud to be seen with your partner.
Happy couples are pleased to be seen together and are often in some kind of affectionate contact — hand on hand or hand on shoulder or knee or back of neck. They are not showing off but rather just saying that they belong with each other.

Even if these actions don’t come naturally, happy couples stick with them until they do become a part of their relationship. They know that it takes

2. It’s OK to disagree: if two people always agree, one of them isn’t necessary.

3. Compliment your partner often.

4.  Develop good listening skills.

5. Keep in mind that we’re all trying to accomplish the same objectives in a relationship: acceptance, support, and affection.

6. Learn to handle conflict constructively.

7. Never say: “I told you so.”

8. Don’t take each other for granted.

9. Serve her breakfast in bed; include a long-stemmed red rose.

10. Have a sense of humor.

11. Be flexible.

12. Understand the importance of small touches and caresses.

13. Massage their feet; and give them a back rub.

14. Learn to tango.

15. Never betray their confidence.

16. Plan a lunch date.

17. Create a scrap book of your first year together.

18. Plan little surprises.

19. Keep a lock of his hair in a heart-shaped locket.

20. Flirt with each other.

21. Share the household chores.

22. Ride a bicycle built for two.

23. Never forget a single anniversary. Create a meaningful anniversary ritual.

24. Watch out for each other’s best interests.

25. Take a horse-drawn carriage ride.

26. Admit it when you’re wrong.

27. Befriend his/her friends.

28. Write each other love letters.

29.  Follow William James’ advice: “The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.”

30.  Make romance a habit.

31.  Don’t expect perfection.

32.  Share your dreams with each other.

33.  Be best friends as well as lovers.

34.   Hold hands.

35.  Don’t interrupt each other.

36.  Make lots of eye contact.

37.  Make a list for them: 101 reasons why I love you.

38.  Call just to say “I love you”.

39.  Make your partner feel special.

40.  Promise each other to grow old together.  Keep your promise.