All Content  Emotional General |
| The Reality Of Life |
|
|
|
| Tuesday, 10 April 2007 | |
|
As we are growing up there is one reality of life that a lot of us choose to ignore and that is the reality of death. It's not until it hits you up close and personal that you fully realize this reality. Over the past few years I have lost a big part of my life to death. The reality of this has really set in. Sometimes this reality sets in so much that you begin to wonder if you can truly handle it or would it not be easier to be dead yourself to avoid the pain. You sometimes then start blaming the folks that you care about so much for dying and leaving you with this pain. Everyone handles and copes differently. Whether it's friends, family, or even in some cases that of your children that sad truth is that we are all going to one day pass away and also experience this fact of life many times over as you get older. There is no avoiding it.
Even though you can't avoid it we all still have choices that are within our control. We have the choice to feel helpless and depressed or we have the choice to be happy and continue on living our individual lives to the fullest. The one thing I would ask you to consider is the personality and beliefs of the person that you have lost and what made them so special to you. As hard as this may be try the following:
· Close your eyes and relax
· Think about the person that you have lost; make it real as if they were there with you.
· Remember conversations and interactions that you have had with that person.
· Remember the love or friendship that they share with you.
· Now as you are thinking about this person imagine what they would say to you right now if they had the ability to talk to you and what they would say about how you are feeling and reacting to their passing away. Make it real.
· I believe if anyone truly cared about you they would be telling you to remember them and the special times, but go on living your life. In fact I believe you would hurt these people by letting them know that their passing caused you so much pain that you stopped living your life to the fullest.
- Last but not least say a very heartfelt good bye to that person and let them know that they will always live on in your heart, mind and spirit and that you love them.
As I think back, there is something good that comes out of every tragic situation. Some of the good things that could come out of someone passing away (as sad is it may be, but a fact of life) are as follows:
· You become a stronger person.
· It brings you closer to the ones you love.
· You have more of an appreciation of life.
· You don't take people close to you for granted.
· You learn to tell people that are close to you how much they mean to you and how much you appreciate them every day. (In my opinion you can never do that too much as it makes people feel good and in turn it makes yourself feel good)
· You live every day of your life like it is your last
· You perhaps learn from the good things and the bad things that was in the life of the person that passed on.
In many cases it takes people years to figure out the good things that come as a result of someone passing on or any tragedy that you may experience. However, think of the power you would have if you were able to start focusing on these things soon after your grieving period was over or even during your grieving period. After all the question to ask yourself is would the person that passed on want you feeling the way you do or would they rather see you process what is going on in a way that is more conducive to you learning and making a better life for yourself.
The choice is up to each of us individually, but before you take the selfish route of self pity think about the greater good that the person that passed on would want you to take away from their passing. I spent a number of years in the self pity stage and it almost destroyed my whole life by pushing away everyone that meant something to me and not letting them in. The one thing I hope I obtain by writing this is that it helps you with not making some of the same mistakes I have made made in the past. Find the good things and start focusing on them now, you will be amazed by how much better that truly makes you feel and the impact that it will have on you as well as the ones that care about you.
I am not discounting the loss of a loved one, so make sure you take the appropriate time to grieve. Like with anything else in life with time things will get better and how you choose to focus your mind will play a big part in that healing process.
|
|
| Last Updated ( Thursday, 21 August 2008 ) |
