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| Grief - A Normal Life Process |
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| Sunday, 22 April 2007 | |
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Understand the 5 stages of grief. This will allow you to more fully understand your feelings which will further help you get through any difficult situation in life.
UNDERSTAND:
1. Are you going through some type of loss or an experience that is very traumatic in your life? If yes, take a few moments and write down what is occurring and how you are feeling about it.
2. Since the day of the traumatic event write down all of the emotions that you felt and ultimately the thoughts you were experiencing as you felt these emotions.
3. Now put the emotions and thoughts from area two in chronological order.
4. Write down how you are feeling at this point in time about the traumatic event that you experienced and what thoughts about the event are still occupying your mind?
5. Ultimately how do you want to feel about the traumatic event that occurred and what do you feel it would take for you to feel that way?
LEARN:
A Normal Life Process
At some point in our lives, each of us faces the loss of someone or something dear to us. The grief that follows such a loss can seem unbearable, but grief is actually a healing process. Grief is the emotional suffering we feel after a loss of some kind. The death of a loved one, a tragic event, even intense disappointment can cause grief. Their are 5 stages of grief people go through following a serious loss. Sometimes people get stuck in one of the first four stages. Their lives can be painful until they move to the fifth stage - acceptance.
During grief, it is common to have many conflicting feelings. Sorrow, anger, loneliness, sadness, shame, anxiety, and guilt often accompany serious losses. Having so many strong feelings can be very stressful.
Yet denying the feelings, and failing to work through the five stages of grief, is harder on the body and mind than going through them. When people suggest "looking on the bright side," or other ways of cutting off difficult feelings, the grieving person may feel pressured to hide or deny these emotions. Then it will take longer for healing to take place.
Grieving and its stresses pass more quickly, with good self-care habits. It helps to have a close circle of family or friends. It also helps to eat a balanced diet, drink enough non-alcoholic fluids, get exercise and rest.
Most people are unprepared for grief, since so often, tragedy strikes suddenly, without warning. If good self-care habits are always practiced, it helps the person to deal with the pain and shock of loss until acceptance is reached.
Now that you know the stages, you now have a conscious level of competence in this area. With a conscious level of competence in any area of your life you have the ability to control your outcomes and not let the situation control you. The quality of your life, no matter what situation you are in, is the quality of things that you focus on.
Live Life With Passion Not Regret :-) !!
PRESCRIPTION:
1. Review what you wrote down in the understand area.
2. After reviewing the content which of the 5 stages of grief are you in?
3. Write down as many good things as possible that could come out of the event that occurred. There is always something good if you choose to focus on it. It could be something as simple as you are becoming a stronger person or have more appreciation of life and the time that we have. At a minimum come up with 2 things, but stretch yourself and try to come up with more. I know this is hard but force the issue.
4. Write down as many things as possible that you could focus on right now that would make you smile about the event. If it is someone passing on, what are things they did or said that made you smile when they were here? If it’s a traumatic situation around finances or something serious that has happened to you think of ways you could potentially add some humor to it as if you were a sitcom writer. Perhaps even imagine the event as a cartoon, make the characters funny or add other things to it that could make the story a comedy rather then a tragedy. End result is you want at a minimum of 5 things you could think about right now around the person or situation that could make you smile.
5. Now I want you to think about the situation, get to the emotional state you were in when you wrote down what you did in the number 4 section of the understand area above if it has changed. When you are there, stand up, tilt your head back as if you were looking at the ceiling five feet in front of you, smile as big as you can and now think about the things you wrote down for areas 3 and 4 in prescription area.
6. As you did the above exercise how did you feel? When you were done how long did the way you were feeling last? When you change your focus and physiology it can provide you with an immediate short term fix that can help you battle some of the negative emotions that you may be feeling.
7. This article should have helped you begin to understand your feelings a bit more and understand some things you can do immediately to shift your focus and help you feel a bit better about the situation.
8. If you have not, please take the time to reflect on the positive things, talk with friends and family (this alone can speed up the process drastically), give yourself some time to heal. With time, like any situation you experience in life, you will be able to get back to a state of happiness and look back and see some good things that came out of the situation no matter what it is.
9. If you find yourself having any type of self destructive thoughts towards yourself or others please seek professional help. In some cases you may need professional guidance to get you back to a state of happiness.
10. Journal, Journal, Journal. Not only is it therapeutic but with time it will also help you understand yourself better. |
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| Last Updated ( Thursday, 21 August 2008 ) |
