Is technology a means to an end to healthy relationships? I remember when I was younger and I just started talking to girls, I use to get so nervousness. I don’t feel that entirely goes away especially when you like someone a lot, but it gets a lot easier. I use to get so nervous that I would write down talking points on a piece of paper in preparation for those exciting but yet scary phone calls when I was speaking to my first love. I did this so I wouldn’t freeze up and get that dreaded awkward silence on the call.  As I got older I didn’t need those talking points any more but that sense of nervousness still existed.  Now lets fast forward to 2010. In 2010 we don’t even have to talk verbally on the phone we can do it all via the handy dandy little feature on cell phones called text messaging. It allows you to think about what you are going to initially say, think about your replies and do this while you are in the middle of five other things. This also takes away all that nervousness that you get with your first interactions as you are getting to know someone. Sounds great right?  From experience I feel this approach actually kills relationships and sets you up for failure.

Let’s face it, fostering friendship, love and intimacy comes through opening up and enjoying the full experience of interaction with your partner. The inflection in the voice, the true understanding of the words being said, feeling those words being said from your partners perspective and not to mention the fact that you care enough to put all of your focus in one place at one time for that person on the other end of the line that you care about. When thinking back, how many text messaging conversations do you really remember versus those verbal conversations that you have had. Relationships are built out of quality of time spent and the true question is does text messaging count as quality time? I personally think it doesn’t.

I’ve spent a lot of time bettering myself over the past few years. I spent time learning to love myself because until you truly love yourself you really can’t love others and have fantastic relationships. I also read countless articles and books on self help and relationships. So for the first time in my life I feel I am truly able and capable of loving someone. Even armed with all of this I still continually run into one problem and that is getting caught up in the dreaded text messaging cycle that most couples fall prey to. Now I’m not talking just casual conversations happening via text but also conversations that I would deem quite serious happening though this medium. Words get misinterpreted, the other person can’t feel the inflection in your voice and then communication entirely breaks down.  I would say this probably happens a bit more on the dating scene then when you are married or living with someone because at the end of the day you have to go home to that person which could lend itself to that in person chat.

So if you care about that special someone and you care about your relationship resist that urge to text. Just pick up the phone and start out that call with I’m calling because I care, I care about you and us. There is nothing that would make some ones day more, I know I always get more exciting when I see that special someone’s name come up on caller ID versus my text inbox. People say relationships are work, I only look at things as work that I really don’t care about. So if it seems like a lot of work to pick up that phone and have that courage to go through that nervousness and that courage to have those tough conversations, then I think the true question is, are you where you need to be. Maybe that is why it comes down to using text for everything. Don’t destroy your relationships before they even begin, after all doesn’t that person that could be the one to give you a life time of warm feelings and smiles deserve the best you have to offer every day?

Life if short, live everyday as if it Is your last and live every moment with true passion and you can’t go wrong.